The Doc Wants to See Me.

I was at work doing my thing and just ran three miles at lunch. After my shower I went back to my office and had a message to call my doctor. I realized by now it's not a good sign when the doctor wants to see me. It was one of those sit down meetings so I knew it wasn't good. He informed me that my liver enzymes were the highest they had ever been and he wanted to order another liver biopsy. My first biopsy was the worst pain I had ever experienced so I wasn't to keen on having another one. The second one wasn't as bad as the first, but it still was painful. The results showed I was entering stage 2 of chronic HEP C. He wanted to start me on a new and improved treatment of Interferon taken with an antiviral medication call Riboflavin. The doctor said that it was a nine month treatment and suggested strongly I should try it. All those bad feelings from the first two treatments were coming out of hibernation and I got very angry. I had to make the go or no-go decision again. I talked with my family and we decided to try the new treatment. My family and I decided if I did it once I could do it again. That is what I wanted the world to see, but really inside, I felt guilty about the HEP C. My thoughts were if only this didn't happen to me and I must have done something bad to deserve this. I felt God was getting me back for something in my past. Then it hit me! I was right in the middle of the grieving process. I was grieving the loss of my health. I had to start fighting back because I didn't want to die and I just knew I could beat this.

This is a link that does a great job explaining the stages of the mourning process.

http://www.hopes-wi.org/SurvivorsGuide/mourning_process.htm