Waiting is the Hardest Part

I was approved by UNOS and I was on the transplant list. This is good news, however they need a donor. It had been a couple of months since I went on medical leave and really couldn't do much of anything. The financial situation was getting desperate because of a six month waiting period form Social Security Disability (SSDI) and my disability policy from the hospital. It was hard for me to keep the ship floating, eventfully I turned all the financial decisions over to my wife. She did a great job! Each week was getting worse for me and towards the end I had entered into the survival mode. I was so sick to the point I really thought I was going to die. I didn't let anyone know how bad it was. I don't think I was fooling anyone. I had called UAB several times and asked them where I was on the transplant list. It would go from next in line to fifth in line in just three days. My nurse explained to me the liver list changes constantly and I was just making it hard on myself. She said that when they had a donor I would be the first to know. Each day I was becoming more desperate because I knew at my core I could die soon.

One evening I had the worst night of my life and I never want to go through it again. I was throwing up my guts , I was hearing things that weren't there, I was confused, and I felt like I was on deaths door. It was bad! I said a prayer like this "God if you want me take me now because I can't live like this any longer". In just six months I had lost my since of well-being to the point where I would rather die then live. I was afraid because I knew it could get much worse. It was the first time in over twenty seven years I can remember shedding a tear about my illness. I fell asleep after about three hours of pure hell. I was woken by my cell phone at 3:07 in the morning on August 5th 2008. I answered and a woman's voice said is this Mr. Jones, I said yes, she said this is UAB calling and we have a liver for you, can you be here in four hours? I asked if this for real, and she said yes. I said I'm on my way. I only had to wait 3 months for a liver, I was lucky.